You know that 2016 is right around the corner.. literally in less than 24 hours. My network is publishing confident posts to their Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn about changes they want to make or travels they want to experience. When I read their excitement, I just want to hug them through the computer. I love when people are motivated by happiness, goals, travels, self confidence and something to look forward to in their future. I wish this momentum could hold strong all the time – year round! I want to surround myself by these individuals because Confidence is KEY.
I have personally become more organized with my brand + the business accounts where I am developing a social media presence. I took a vacation day for the holiday so I’ve been slammed with scheduling content in advance. I haven’t been sleeping lately because I’ve been grinding so much in the middle of the night. Sleep is for the weak.. If I keep my mind busy — I will keep the creativity flowing. I use to spark creativity by leaving positive quotes around my room – everywhere. I would put stickie notes on my mirrors in the bathroom, alongside the door and between my text books. This concept was so contagious that my roommates applied it to their rooms while in college. I stopped putting quotes around after I graduated for some reason.. Instead, I post positive quotes on my Instagram or Tumblr to remind myself to keep it going. Even though I dont have the quotes on a piece of paper in front of me – I can pop online to be inspired.
Here is a quote that I created using Canva — a quick ‘photoshop like’ browser based photo editing software. This is an example of the motivational quotes that I post to my Instagram. The story behind this quote — tomorrow, tonight – whatever is New Years Eve.. I’ve never really worried about sleep, heck it is 2:20AM right now. I think it’s an artist mentality, we are more creative in the middle of the night while we are in our zone. I painted three projects tonight – – grinding out on some acrylic work which I am really excited to demonstrate tomorrow. I have been putting in late night hours to work on myself — my art, brand and getting my life organized. However, the following mornings do hurt because of the no sleep. I think because I am young, it is okay but the older I get – these all nighters might not fly. I live in the moment — but when I hit crash mode which is when my body decides it doesn’t want to do anything.. I hit the wall hard. I will sleep for a whole day or more!
Enjoy New Years Eve — it only comes one night a year so live it up!! This year, I will be downtown Detroit This was my industry for many years before I transitioned into advertising / I can party from 8PM to 6AM without stopping.. I remember taking 20 minute power naps in between sets at music festivals so I could get sleep during the 4 day fiasco of madness. Drugs are not my friend so that is out of the question – this is pure energy.
Why Staying Confident Is Important To Me.
If you walk in with attitude, smile, eye contact – you will make an impression. I am constantly eyed by people -like the up and down elevator look. The stares are either from curiosity of how I am getting around on crutches or the person is just being dumb because they’ve never seen a person like me out & about. I get it in and get things done. Some people are really intimated by a strong willed woman, especially one with perseverance.
I wear my disability like a badge of honor – I went through something bad in life and I’m doing just fine from it. You get to take notice because it is a physical disability in which I have no control of changing my external appearance. All I can offer is my knowledge.
I bounce from one place to another, even in bad weather like Michigan is currently experiencing. — I am crushing it by running errands, making moves, taking care of business, keeping up with my (make up, hair, clothes) – all is “on point.” I care about my physical appearance and how people react to what I put out there. Even though there isn’t much I can do about not being able to walk; I at least deal with what I have to work with. It could be worse, ya know. I think about it all the time. Trust me if there was a surgery to put some meat into these legs, fix my feet, put my hips back into the sockets and everything to be ‘normal’ – I still wouldn’t do it. First of all — ouch, can you imagine the pain from recovery, emotional = what if something went wrong and I came out worse?! And secondly, I’m already crying in medical debt up to my nose, so simply no, thank you – I’m good!
Society is not going to bring me to want to be normal – or close to what people think normal is. The trends on social media from society are absolutely ridiculous. Social media is my industry – this is my lively hood, social media marketing is what I do for a living. I don’t want to serve messages to my network that are absolutely ridiculous just to get a few extra website clicks. I will leave that job to the spammers. I don’t want to be that individual that gets fame for stupid ish. I will have my turn.. and I will be the hero. I have accomplished real life obstacles that have mentally, physically and emotionally changed me into a better person.
My confidence repels on people. It is a force that sticks to you.. I don’t care what people think, I use to give a damn but now.. I don’t have time to make everyone happy. I’m only worried about my happiness.
— there are many times that I don’t talk about my experiences and maybe my daily blogging is the perfect opportunity to start putting it out there.
Yesterday, it was my boyfriends birthday. I should have been 100% focused on him, but I was distracted by people’s reactions because “I was out”
We went to this steak place – BlackRock in Novi, Mi – where you cook your own steak on a hot rock. It was an interactive experience. I didn’t make reservations ahead of time because I thought for a Tuesday night maybe we could right in there. Well, lol I was wrong because apparently every family was out shopping, going to a movie and grabbing dinner in the lot. It took a few circles to find close parking – I mean, even handicap was completely full. At least it wasn’t icy of snowy, I made it inside alright.
I walked up to the hostess to put our information into the system. There was absolutely no where to stand in the waiting area- the crowd was 3 people staggered deep. Everyone was in everyone’s way. For me, being the short person that I am, I was dodging the elbows — people kept bumping into me. You would think that someone would have offered me their seat because I was getting pushed into their face by people behind me. (you would think). My boyfriend was doing what he could by putting his arm out like, “hello dipsh*ts, my gf is standing here” but it was still a struggle. I tried to stand in the scorner, stand next to the bar– all of the above. Just the people staring at me while I struggled started to really piss me off. My struggle was like entertainment for these ignorant people who kept staring at me bouncing around on my crutches trying to find a common ground without being knocked over. I kinda of wanted to get knocked over so they could feel bad but honestly.. at that point, I was just like whatever – people suck, ignore them.. I didn’t want to bring the attention of these people to my boyfriend, obviously because it was his birthday. I’m sure he knew.. it was clearly obvious. I was ready to take my crutch and hit everyone in their knee in one full swing like the matrix.. watch all the ba*&&%^% fall to the ground for watching me suffer. haha. Act like I haven’t done that before.. Flashback to high school homecoming high school when these kids pushed me in the middle of a circle to talk sh*t and I knocked them out flat with my crutch to their knees walking away like, ‘dont mess with the best.’ Beast Mode. You don’t forget those types of things.
So I finally get my ground with the crowed by standing near this big family because it felt like an army, right? This family was all huddled in a circle so you couldnt get thru them. There were two young girls – 12 & 13 years old sisters that would not stop staring at my legs. I was looking dead center in their eyes waiting for them to stop looking down and to look directly at my face. Like geez, after 20 seconds, I finally waved to them.. their looks were all confused but I was laughing on the inside.. Like gotcha! I wasn’t in their personal space, just using their space to shield myself. I shouldn’t feel this way about going out in public because I have a physical difference. There are times when I cannot help myself by letting people get to me. If anything, maybe this is a personal problem and I need to work out with myself on learning how to let small things go. Maybe their nasty looks are actually what their faces look like everyday (not).
After about 15 – 20 minutes of being the “waiting room’s entertainment,” our table was ready… Thank goodness. I ordered a delicious steak with mushrooms – it came out quickly. Our waiter and his training waitress taught us how to cook the steak on the rock. This was the coolest experience ever!! I completely forgot about all of the bulls*t in the waiting area because I was so enthused by my meal.. People who were just being seated across from us watched how we cooked our steak on the rock. I felt proud for being a good example of a steak rock cooker.. haha. It was SO good! I am definitely going back there again.
This just shows that my skin is thick.. I can not let my entire evening be ruined by other people’s reactions. I’m 27 years young;; I just need to go about myself by ignoring these fools. Heck– I go to music festivals of 50,000 wearing little to nothing, body painted.. and I don’t get these type of reactions. The love, music and art — soothes my soul. Summer come quicker!
Today, a gem was given to me by a lady at the Dollar Tree.
I call moments of sentimental value in my life – gems. I will receive gems every couple of days where someone will be touched my diversity. These individuals will tell me their life stories.. or a somewhat short version of something going on in their life.
So this evening; I went to the pharmacy, Starbucks, Five Below and lastly the Dollar Tree to pick up a few items for my New Year’s Eve celebration in Detroit. Like I said, I bounce around more than the average person who doesn’t have anything wrong with them. While I was at the Dollar Tree, I noticed many of the shelves being completely wiped clean.. everything was gone – it looked like the store was out of business. I understand the transition from Christmas to the next holiday but this was very odd to see everything so empty. The Christmas sales were bringing the customers in.
As my items were being rung up by the cashier, I said “wow, everything for Christmas went quickly.” She replied that she was happy because at times they didn’t even have the chance to use the bathroom during the Christmas rush. With three registers running and short staff, I felt bad that she was being rushed during the holiday especially when I understand the pay is low.
She rang up my silly string and laughed.. She told me a short story about how she purchased 10 bottles of silly string for Christmas for her children to enjoy. But had to cancel because the family had bad weather where she celebrated. She was excited to let her children to bring them out for New Years Eve. She asked me about my NYE plans and I told her that I was going to a show downtown Detroit and that I’ve never watched the ball drop in person. I felt that I was connecting with her when she told me that she always goes to Detroit for New Years Eve. She will take one of her children to the Red Wings game, game is done by 10:30PM, get home with the other children and watch the ball drop together. How sweet. Again, I felt bad because she could only afford to take one of her children each time to the hockey game. This family can only enjoy one game per year — for one of children, that has to be tough. She said that her family hurt when the Red Wings didn’t play one year because the child was so excited about going and had to wait another year.. It is moments like these that make me appreciate the value of hard earned dollar and to be blessed by opportunities. I’ve personally never been to a Red Wings game, it really isnt my sport but I’ve been to a dozen Detroit Tigers games this year. For this woman, that I met in 5 minutes to open her heart and tell me the family tradition and her hardships — I just wanted to hug her.
I am really hoping that 2016 will continue to balance the good & bad in my life. People open up because my energy is drawn to them.
For now.. I need to catch my zzz