Preparing my camera angle for my first full body shot video.
Trying to walk better into my disability suit as a leader that’s inspired and motivational.
It’s really hard to wear a smile all the time. I am so tired just from my muscles and the pain in my shoulders. I don’t like to talk about all of the personal things that are going on with myself because people are going to feel sorry for me. What can we honestly do about the situation? We just need to bring attention to it and don’t touch it if I don’t bring it up. I’m a very strong woman and I cry behind closed doors. I had a friend in Miami nail my personality right on the hammer by saying ‘you’re only freedom from pain is when you’re sleeping’
But even when I’m sleeping, I’m not actually sleeping. I’m just laying there trying to put my mind into a meditational state. I’ve been falling asleep a lot earlier because I have noticed that my body needs the extra time just to lay down. Even when I wake up in the morning, I still tell myself to try to sit there for 15 more minutes but I know it’s not worth it. I should just continue moving to keep momentum. I hope that my new coming out of being in the social life space as a disability advocate will change the way society works with communicating to each other. If we can all takeoff these masks that we wear and realize that we have our own things going on at different levels of obstacles. I don’t even know how I get through the day because of my mobility. I just pray so much that I’m not going to fall and that I can handle whatever challenges are coming at me. The moment I step out the door, issues with the scooter or it’s raining or there’s a problem at the door or someone wants to give me attitude or somebody wants to ask me 1 million questions or somebody wants to see if I’m staying alone or someone wants to talk to me about how much I’m paying to live here.
I’m sorry that I went a little Detroit on that last message. But my attitude speaks for itself and I’m not gonna let down my guard, not for one single moment. People do not get to step on me because I’m small. I’m going to teach lessons and take names.
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