Somebody save me from myself, yah?
#Selfcare
The 30 hours of Hell that I put myself thru to get back into the United States of America; (United We Stand/ Divided we Fall) during the worst catastrophe in the history of pandemic.
My flight from Colombia was a nightmare; the absolute worst travel story from my entire life of traveling; from collecting tags for a service animal to fly, to the chats with our US Embassy in Bogota.. in Spanglish, baggage claim, freak out by the Spirit staff, cant find a bathroom, cant find a porter… feels like all the things to make it easy, are actually meant to be a lesson. …
wish I had cash flow to fly private, or have someone fly with me. So the coldness doesnt have to be endured alone. Wish I had cash; but this is something that I dont have control over… because I’m “me” and I have all this extra going on.
What is going on here?
I didn’t know what I would be missing if I didn’t come back to the trap.. I wanna call it a trap house from all the bullshit and creative ways Ive been making money lately.. the cold f#cking city of Detroit. Isn’t that why we stay tho? being creative with money; with people. all them lurking around. I keep my eyes open. That;s my job.. to stay alert while the rest of us are sleeping.. sheeping — too busy being ridiculous to understand that world is falling apart.
time travel, take me backk
Ride around the D; remembering that coldness is strength… and not everyone has thick skin to stick around… I miss my whip, driving around to the Unknown.. my candy blue Barbie car… should I be over here? what am I really getting into it? That hustle, that fear is why Im back.
I can run, and run.. and run.. and still want a taste of The D. But this ticker is starting to clock out. Im not dealing. Get with it – or jump out the way.
I look at my blogs from 6 years ago… I havent changed; I’m still grinding with a smile. Even though, I dont speak as much as I useto.. it’s because I’m in this “f#ck you = get so busy” tip. I let the energy around me, take me down… and I wish I could switch it up. But the reality of things, I am going to do whatever that I want too. Because that’s how I run the game.
Now I’m rethinking whose looking out for my best interests; and whose just taking advantage of them. Even the closest to me.. are making me realize that Im actually only One in this world
Feels like everyone these days.. but how do you get around that? Looking at yourself in a two sided mirror, right? What does it really mean to have a friend – someone that you can count on.. they seem to be so scarce these days. Like finding a diamond.. when youre too busy chasing stones; you dont realize whats been in front of you – the whole time.
All I can say is… I’m going to do it my way. No matter what the consequences are.
After our lock down, I’m going back out – dedicating my life to missionary work… putting everything back into a storage unit and calling it a damn day, you only get one shot – why would I waste that?
Im an international phenomenon; with an empire in Colombia & Indonesia.. and dont you forget it. I have resources around the world. I’ve built that – with my social media channels and my pre-Madonna looks; I just need to blink these angel eyes and boom. youre hooked under my spell right? Nawww. Im pure as the ocean; I only bring out the best in people. I dont step on anyone, if anything – I stick my neck out too much for people who really dont deserve it, glorifying their wants and needs when Im the one whose tripping.
Im going to start putting my best foot forward and just run it — planning festival season starting September to hop, ship and jump into the industry… no luggage, no accessories.. my computer, carry-on and chihuahua – we OUT!
There’s not enough times that you can tell me that you love me, and I will still stick around. People always say that… that they stick around, and then Im back to the same position… back to the bottom of it. Where I have to pick up all the pieces and wasted time that was there.. when I knew it was happening the entire time.
Intuition…
Can anybody hear me? I guess I keep talking to myself
am i the one whose crazy?
