Time is simply a terrible to waste #realtalk
I’ve been let down by people that I’ve opened up too. It makes trust so much harder for new people that are trying to come in my world.
Now, I don’t believe a single word that anyone tells me anymore. Miami gave me this psycho behavior that people are just going to use me for whatever they can, and that mentality has trickled into my mindset permanently.
I have so much fear of sharing my personal success or stories with anyone, anymore. I’ve been let down to the point where I just expect it now. I carry this cloud over my head that rains on me every time I try to be vulnerable to someone. It’s a very special circumstance when someone makes me feel like they are trying to relate to me. I have a couple gems in my world that make all of the bad shit go away. I want to hold onto these people forever. I am understanding more that your body is just a suit, and the spirit that lives inside you is what you really are. I don’t let people touch me anymore, I won’t allow it. I’ve had people leave some juju on me, and it took a long time to get it off. I had to close many doors so that the windows could open. It’s more than stressful being in my state of mind with a disability and trying to learn who is there for me or who just wants to use me to get ahead. I do so much for other people, I can hardly count on my fingers how many people help me when I need them.
I feel like I am treading water. Lightly breathing while all of the walls are collapsing. There’s nothing easy about life, your attitude is what you make of it. @missydi
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